ALL I WANNA DO IS SLEEP

I went to work late yesterday - it's a combination of not wanting to participate in training and that I really just wanna sleep feeling a lil drowsy for no reasons at all.



Then when I got to the office I was all cheery and all okay during the conference call/Q&A with some analyst. I thought that was great, I thought the day started great and I would all finish up my targets.



But when the major part of my job started, it's like my life ended.

I don't know how to express it but it worries me that I am not doing well on my job or that I am good at it but I'm not doing it. The aim is to qc aroung 20 or more transactions in a day (for 8 hours) but today I am working on 5 deals in five hours! How was I supposed to finish all 40 plus of my target today?!



And yeah not to mention that I am blogging right now because I am so not myself and I wanted it all out - with no one to talk to that might really understand what I feel - so another wasted work time I guess.



And so it's already 7:37 am (my off was suppose to be at 6) and I still have 30plus more deals to go through. I tried to reast on my cutie pillow and tried to think and think.



I ended up realizing that for the past few days I've been wanting to sleep and just sleep or just be in bed or just be with my sister hang out somewhere and be happy. I think that these may really be just signs - that maybe my world is stopping or I am not moving because I don't feel happy about it anymore... that maybe I really need some change... a big scary change.



I keep thinking about it in the past weeks and I get excited but holding it back and now I am a lil worried and scared about it.



And I'm hoping and praying God will guide me through this.



And I wanna cry...



And I wanna sleep...


[Created 01/31/2009 7:30 AM]